A local house is identified by this sign outside. I never had
\nthe urge until now. I can hardly wait for my rock climbing shoes
\nto arrive.<\/p>\n
In Britain, by law, you must pay more to eat in some place
\nnice.<\/p>\n
A patron at a local Grease & Chips shop had to fork out
\nmore dough between mouthfuls. He apparently sat in the “nice”
\nseats, where he had access to amenities like cutlery, padded
\nseats and a table at the right height. If he were clever, he
\nwould have perched against the wall on the stools up front with
\nthe rest of the lepers and common scum. I know I would have. Not
\ngood enough for us lepers, hmm?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We saw a local contraption that was more motor than car. It
\nwas literally an engine with a seat behind it and three wheels
\nthrown on for good measure. The entire contraption was about the
\nheight and weight of my cat and went like snot. (What an odd
\nexpression. I better buy some more man-sized Kleenex.)<\/p>\n
Our friends in London phoned us up to bring news of extreme
\ntides scheduled for our area. “DANGER! DANGER!” said the news. We
\nlive but half a block from the sea in a property that is mostly
\nsunken compared to our neighbors. “Oh boy!” I thought, picturing
\nmounting rental discounts as we perch in our upstairs room.
\nActually, our six-page tenancy agreement makes us responsible for
\nmost things including floods, pestilence, and famine.<\/p>\n
I was rather disappointed when the sea didn’t even touch the
\nhundred-foot wall guarding the roadway.<\/p>\n
The winds did come up quite spectacularly, whisking away
\ngarbage and unanchored locals. That night a clatter arose from
\nthe roof<\/p>\n
<CREEK!>
\n
\n<THUMP!>
\n
\n<BUMP!>… <Bump>… <bump> … < b i n g
\n>
\n\n<\/p>\n
I hope that wasn’t Santa Claus.<\/p>\n
More likely it was the expensive-looking satellite dish on the
\nroof going for a wee walkabout. Now we’ll be in trouble for not
\nhuddling on the roof through the storm, bracing the dish. (Or
\nmore likely clinging to the dish with feet flying.)<\/p>\n
We saw
\nEnd of Days<\/i>
\nin London for $22.50 a person. Good thing we picked the cheap
\nseats. Got popcorn and a drink too for considerably less than a
\ndown payment on a Volkswagen.
\nEnd of Days<\/i>
\nis fine if you shift your brain into neutral and learn to enjoy
\nArnie’s acting.<\/p>\n
They gave us our money’s worth by treating us to an extra 25
\nminutes of pre-movie commercials. Most of it bizarre enough to my
\nproper Canadian mind as too quickly slip through the tender net
\nof memory. One commercial did stand out though:<\/p>\n
Audio: Man and a woman in bed giggling and laughing.
\n
\nVisual: Bedroom, side of bed barely in camera.
\n
\nThe man grunts with effort and a pair of men’s socks in tossed
\ninto view.
\n
\nShirt… <giggle> belt… <giggle, giggle>
\ntrousers… and finally with a grunt and sigh his briefs drop
\ninto view.
\n
\nHe sounds pleased and expectant.
\n
\n“And THAT too!” she chides
\n
\n<Sigh> <Grumble>… and on the dresser is placed a
\nlarge Australian beer.
\n
\nVoiceover: “Beer too good to put down.”
\n\n<\/p>\n
Being loosely affiliated with the advertising industry (or is
\nthat afflicted), I find it disconcerting to be, um, disconcerted
\nby British ads.<\/p>\n
2b – Picture: Woman in wheelchair with friend. Head: “She’s
\nsuch an embarrassment”. Subcaption: “Her laugh is so dirty.”
\nAh, another person like me. An embarrassment.
\n\n<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n
I must be getting old. Subtle reverse meta-humour is offending
\nmy political correctness.<\/p>\n
We had lunch at the Smuggler’s Pub. (Formerly headquarters for
\na successful cross-channel smuggling gang until their leader was
\ntaken away on trumped up sheep stealing charges. I suspect it has
\nundergone a name change.) Michelle had a nice little sandwich
\nwith fries and a pop. I had some french bread with cheese, raw
\nonion salad, and a Coke. Being a Stilton cheese virgin, I had to
\ntake it on faith, when my plate arrived, that visible pustules of
\nmold were in fact intentional and not a result of cost-cutting.
\nIt tasted like extra, extra sharp Mozzarella, vintage 1987. The
\npustules were not a result of cost-cutting. Total cost $28.75<\/p>\n
The Euro just fell to 1.004 against the U.S. dollar, down 15%
\nsince inception. Hmm.<\/p>\n
PS – We’re having fun. Really we are. All these files should
\nbe taken with a smile and a smirk. Tomorrow we get to party like
\nit’s 1999. And eight hours ahead of all you Millennium laggard
\nCanadians. \ud83d\ude42 Happy New Year!<\/p>\n
PPS – It would be interesting should the millions that head
\ninto London by rail to party discover that Y2K has stopped the
\ntrains at midnight. At least the party hats will keep their heads
\nwarm. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ein’s such an embarrassment; she has a dirty laugh. Ads, movies, and more mayhem from Stephen’s pen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[177],"tags":[194,215,221],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sm-adventur3s","tag-britain","tag-england","tag-food"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":68,"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions\/68"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/einiverse.eingang.org\/ein2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}